Episode 3 - Fantasies

It was 5.35pm when I pulled up to the gate. Hah, told you I could make it.

The walls surrounding his mansion seemed to go on forever. His gate occupied more space than my entire house. I felt like I didnt belong here. Well, truth be told, I didn't.

A melodious voice filled the air. My testerone driven mind kicked in. I imagined pretty, innocent, blonde. In a tight miniskirt, with a tube top hugging a bust that was spilling over the sides. And her legs, those lovely legs that seemed to go on forever. I rolled down my window and turned to face my fantasy...

My fantasy evaporated.

I know I'm fifty, I know I'm single, I know that makes me a horny man facing a mid-life crisis, but my senses had never been so wrong. I realized why Justin wanted to go to Mars. He wanted to bring an alien back with him. She was HUGE. Imagine someone who's longer from left to right than she is from head to toe. That monster you're thinking of? That's who stood before me. Good thing I was wrong about the skirt and tube too.

"Good day to you sir. Mr. Mann I presume?"

I thought I heard her say "I eat Mann's for lunch!". I was scared. I nodded my acknowledgement, not daring to say a word.

"Could I see your identity card sir? and please place your right thumb on the touchscreen," Mann-eater said.

I dutifully passed her my card and touched the screen she produced from her pocket. I could almost hear the cow she swallowed for breakfast whining from within her gut. She put the card into a slot beside the screen. I assumed it was comparing thumbprints. The device let out a beep.

"Alright, please park your car just beyond the gate," Mann-eater said as she returned me my card and the enormous gates began to swing open.

I couldnt go any further than "just beyond the gate" anyway because a spike belt was placed 5 meters from there. I drove through and parked, and the gates closed behind me.

Mann-eater was beside me again. I could have sworn I saw the gates close with her on the outside.

"step out of the car please, leave all your metallic objects in this tray then pass through the metal detector, then wait for the caddy to come pick you up. A valet will park your car."

Apparently security was a serious issue to Justin. Why else would he hire an abomination like Mann-Eater? I said goodbye to the coins and other nonsense I kept in my pocket for I knew they'ld become a snack for this hideous beast. I couldn't bring myself to refer to this blob as a human. I tip toed throgh the metal detector. The Blob told me to wait at the gravel path I assumed would lead to Justin's house. It was so... gentle. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel before she tried to eat Hansel.

A few seconds later, a golf caddy came by. There was no driver. Fully automated caddies? BioMatric devices to verify idenity? A magically appearing pet alien to guard the gate? What else did he have in there? This trip to the Twubber house was going to be interesting.