Episode 15 - And I awaken...

I awoke to the buzz of my alarm, strategically placed just out of arm's reach so i'ld have to get out of bed to turn it off. Swearing and grumbling at the genius I implemented in waking myself up, I got up and looked at the clock. Wednesday, March 4th, 8am; that miserable hour where everyone gets out of bed and joins the peak hour frenzy.

I went through my daily ritual of washing up. I considered my options for the day and realized I faced a little dilemma; I could go to the gym and check out hot babes in tight spandex or I could head down to the club and check out hot babes in short skirts. Which should I choose? I spent a long time pondering this question. Eventually, I decided to save the skirts for the night and spend my day surrounded by spandex. The irony of the thoughts that ran through my mind just the day before struck me, but hey, just because I was planning to cleanse my soul didn't mean I couldn't appreciate the fairer sex.

I dressed for the gym; shorts and sleeveless top that could just barely pass as a rich man's gym attire. I checked myself out in the mirror. Not too bad for a 50-something. If I pretended not to see the wrinkles and the grey hair and the sagging arms and the pot belly, I could actually pass off as a frequent visitor of the gym.

I checked my mail. I knew it would be there. I didn't even have to open my mailbox to know what was inside. Inside my rusty mailbox lay a single card, one with my face printed on it, doctored just enough to make me look like I was actually young and spritely. The words on the card were as follows:

Mr. Shneider Gustavsen
Platinum Member
The Diamond Gym

Ah... the wonders of money. I didn't even ask for a platinum membership, but he decided to pay the extra one thousand dollars to get me one anyway.

Now all I had to do was to brush up on my German.

Spandex, here I come!